The Year of the Jellyfish

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<<set $days_survived to -1>>\ <<set $knitting_projects to 0>>\ \ It's the first day of the rest of your life! [[Yay!|New Day]]

<<set $days_survived to $days_survived + 1>>\ \ <<set $weather to random(1,100)>>\ \ <<if $weather lte 15>>\ It's raining... <<elseif $weather lte 50>>\ It's cloudy. <<else>>\ It's a beautiful sunny day! <</if>>\ \ <<set $death to random(1,100)>>\ \ <<if $days_survived gt 13 and $days_survived lt 17 and $knitting_projects gt 0>>\ The knitting festival is happening, you should go and show off your handiwork! \ <<if $death lte 80>>\ [[Go to the knitting festival!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go to the knitting festival!|Knitting Festival]] <</if>>\ <</if>>\ \ <<if $death lte 15>>\ [[Go hang out with your friends!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go hang out with your friends!|Friends]] <</if>>\ \ <<if $death lte 30>>\ [[Go to a cafe!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go to a cafe!|Cafe]] <</if>>\ \ <<if $death lte 25>>\ [[Go to a museum!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go to a museum!|Museum]] <</if>>\ \ <<if $death lte 35>>\ [[Go to the cinema!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go to the cinema!|Cinema]] <</if>>\ \ [[Go to the beach!|Died]] \ <<if $death lte 80>>\ [[Go on holiday!|Died]] <<else>>\ [[Go on holiday!|Holiday 1]] <</if>>\ \ [[Stay inside and knit.|Knitting]]

You got stung by a jellyfish and died. :( \ <<if $days_survived is 0>>\ You didn't even survive for a single day! <<elseif $days_survived is 1>>\ You survived for 1 day! <<else>>\ You survived for <<print $days_survived>> days! <</if>>\ \ [[Maybe it'll be different next time?|Introduction]]

<> <<set $random_name to random(1,20)>> <<if $random_name is 1>> <<set $friendname to "Garcia">> <<elseif $random_name is 2>> <<set $friendname to "Monty">> <<elseif $random_name is 3>> <<set $friendname to "Lambert">> <<elseif $random_name is 4>> <<set $friendname to "Julian">> <<elseif $random_name is 5>> <<set $friendname to "Xavier">> <<elseif $random_name is 6>> <<set $friendname to "Jonah">> <<elseif $random_name is 7>> <<set $friendname to "Hughie">> <<elseif $random_name is 8>> <<set $friendname to "Bartholomew">> <<elseif $random_name is 9>> <<set $friendname to "Francis">> <<elseif $random_name is 10>> <<set $friendname to "Norman">> <<elseif $random_name is 11>> <<set $friendname to "Anne-Marie">> <<elseif $random_name is 12>> <<set $friendname to "Lola">> <<elseif $random_name is 13>> <<set $friendname to "Scarlett">> <<elseif $random_name is 14>> <<set $friendname to "Ophelia">> <<elseif $random_name is 15>> <<set $friendname to "Stephanie">> <<elseif $random_name is 16>> <<set $friendname to "June">> <<elseif $random_name is 17>> <<set $friendname to "Willa">> <<elseif $random_name is 18>> <<set $friendname to "Nancy">> <<elseif $random_name is 19>> <<set $friendname to "Yvonne">> <<elseif $random_name is 20>> <<set $friendname to "Melissa">> <</if>> <<set $random_event to random(1,20)>> <<if $random_event is 1>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> is about to elope to Tijuana? <<elseif $random_event is 2>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> graduated from clown college? <<elseif $random_event is 3>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>>'s play just debuted on Broadway? <<elseif $random_event is 4>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>>'s house burned down? <<elseif $random_event is 5>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> had another baby? <<elseif $random_event is 6>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> died of tuberculosis? <<elseif $random_event is 7>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>>'s landscaping business went bankrupt? <<elseif $random_event is 8>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> won the lottery? <<elseif $random_event is 9>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> died a glorious death in battle? <<elseif $random_event is 10>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> came out as bisexual? <<elseif $random_event is 11>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> accidentally caused a diplomatic crisis? <<elseif $random_event is 12>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>>'s plum tree is blossoming? <<elseif $random_event is 13>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>>'s holiday home was foreclosed on? <<elseif $random_event is 14>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> became an anāgāmin? <<elseif $random_event is 15>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> was the killer all along? <<elseif $random_event is 16>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> made it out of the asylum? <<elseif $random_event is 17>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> forgave you for what you did? <<elseif $random_event is 18>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> got divorced? <<elseif $random_event is 19>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> invented a new breakfast cereal? <<elseif $random_event is 20>> Wow, that was a fun time! Can you believe <<print $friendname>> got stung by a jellyfish and died? <</if>> <> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]

You spend the afternoon sitting in a cafe sipping tea and watching people and jellyfish go drifting by. This is what life's all about! \ [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]

<> <<set $random_project to random(1,10)>> <<if $random_project is 1>> You knitted a jumper. <<elseif $random_project is 2>> You knitted a cardigan. <<elseif $random_project is 3>> You knitted some woollen underwear. <<elseif $random_project is 4>> You knitted a blanket. <<elseif $random_project is 5>> You knitted a scarf. <<elseif $random_project is 6>> You knitted a hat. <<elseif $random_project is 7>> You knitted some mittens. <<elseif $random_project is 8>> You knitted some socks. <<elseif $random_project is 9>> You knitted a cape. <<elseif $random_project is 10>> You knitted a jellyfish. That's kind of tasteless... :( <</if>> <<set $knitting_projects to $knitting_projects + 1>> <> [[Maybe tomorrow will be more fun?|New Day]]

The museum has a fascinating retrospective on the Jellyfish Crisis. Time sure has passed! \ [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]

<<set $days_survived to $days_survived + 1>>\ After a long flight, you made it to your exotic tropical island destination. Who knew life could be so beautiful! <> <<set $death to random(1,100)>> <<if $death lte 15>> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|Died]] <<else>> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|Holiday 2]] <</if>> <>

<> <<set $random_film to random(1,20)>> <<if $random_film is 1>> <<set $film to "The Penelope Experience">> <<elseif $random_film is 2>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger">> <<elseif $random_film is 3>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger II: The Second Bucketful">> <<elseif $random_film is 4>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger III: Fish in a Manger">> <<elseif $random_film is 5>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger IV: The Albatross Returns">> <<elseif $random_film is 6>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger V: Unanchored">> <<elseif $random_film is 7>> <<set $film to "Fishmonger: ReVIval">> <<elseif $random_film is 8>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger VII: A Seabird Avenged">> <<elseif $random_film is 9>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger VIII: Son of Albatross">> <<elseif $random_film is 10>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger IX: High Octane Petrel">> <<elseif $random_film is 11>> <<set $film to "The Cybermerchant of New Venice">> <<elseif $random_film is 12>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger X: The Bumblefoot Event">> <<elseif $random_film is 13>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger XI: The Sun Sets on the Fishmonger">> <<elseif $random_film is 14>> <<set $film to "The Queen in Orange">> <<elseif $random_film is 15>> <<set $film to "Melancholia of the Twice-Gilded Lily">> <<elseif $random_film is 16>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger XII: The Algae Chronicles: Part One">> <<elseif $random_film is 17>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger XIII: The Algae Chronicles: Part Two">> <<elseif $random_film is 18>> <<set $film to "The Fishmonger XIV: A New Horizon">> <<elseif $random_film is 19>> <<set $film to "The Final Anaesthesiologist">> <<elseif $random_film is 20>> <<set $film to "The Final Anaesthesiologist 2: After the Countdown">> <</if>> <<set $random_message to random(1,10)>> <<if $random_message is 1>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It was the worst thing you've ever seen in your life! <<elseif $random_message is 2>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It wasn't very good, but you still had fun! <<elseif $random_message is 3>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It was okay! <<elseif $random_message is 4>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It was actually pretty good! <<elseif $random_message is 5>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It moved you to tears! <<elseif $random_message is 6>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It fundamentally changed you as a person! <<elseif $random_message is 7>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It sucked! <<elseif $random_message is 8>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It made you question every decision you've ever made! <<elseif $random_message is 9>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It was the best thing you've ever seen in your life! <<elseif $random_message is 10>> You watched //<<print $film>>//. It was a complete waste of time and money! <</if>> <> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]

<<set $days_survived to $days_survived + 1>>\ As the sun sets on a day of quiet relaxation, a stranger's eyes catch yours. Within an hour it's as though you've known each other your whole lives. You laugh and yearn and confess like you never have before. <> <<set $death to random(1,100)>> <<if $death lte 15>> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|Died]] <<else>> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|Holiday 3]] <</if>> <>

<<set $days_survived to $days_survived + 1>>\ You never believed in soulmates, and yet what else could this person be? The two of you spend the whole day making love, a single endless moment of skin and lips and bodies and passion. Tomorrow brings the flight back home. Will you fly back alone? Will you beg, on your knees, for your lover to upend everything and come with you? Or will it be you giving up everything to stay here? <> <<set $death to random(1,100)>> <<if $death lte 80>> [[Only one way to find out!|Died]] <<else>> [[Only one way to find out!|Holiday 4]] <</if>> <>

<<set $days_survived to $days_survived + 1>>\ In the end, it's just you. You didn't have the conviction to see it through. You return to your cold and quiet apartment, alone but forever changed. [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]

<> <<set $place to random(1,5)>> <<if $place is 1>> You received first prize! Your knitting is truly top notch! <<elseif $place is 2>> You received second prize! If you try hard, maybe you could rank even higher! <<elseif $place is 3>> You received third prize! If you try hard, maybe you could rank even higher! <<else>> You didn't win, but it was still fun to take part! <</if>> <> [[Tomorrow will be even better!|New Day]]